April 25, 2000

"There are times I swear I know you're here When I forgot about my fears Feeling you my dear Watching over me My hope sees Of what the future will bring When you wrap me in your wings And take me" - Jessica Simpson, Where You Are

Today is a bit melancholy I guess. The dismal weather bringing back memories of a time less fraught with grey. It's not that I'm unhappy, it's just that I am concerned about someone that I think about almost daily. What he's doing. If he's happy. I'm not sad really, I guess I might be wishing for a time that never will be...but was...at least for a while :) So yesterday was quite the adventure. Posing for People Art Productions. I really don't consider myself all that, but I was flattered at the request so I decided to go and at least experience it since this is probably my last time through the loop.

What do I mean? Well I have somewhat of a belief that reincarnation is a possibility. That the universe is such a big place that we need multiple trips through it in order to move to the next level. Some of us are what you can call "new" souls. We all know them instinctively. The characteristics are a bit vague, but generally you just KNOW if you are at all tuned to people. At the far end of the spectrum, you have people like me. "Old" souls who have been there, done that, and are here to learn a final lesson or two before the next. Sometimes I feel that I just KNOW that's what I am...an "old" soul. Maybe I'm full of crap, and it doesn't matter if I am or not :) What matters is that I learn what I am supposed to learn in this life, because I believe that's why all of us are here.

Just to clarify, being an "old" soul doesn't make you boring or wise or better than anyone else. What it does give you is a clarity of vision of life. The ability to understand others and to give of yourself without expecting anything in return. That's the Karmic Principle...my primary belief.

Jesus once was quoted as saying "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." I'm no religious fanatic, but this really describes how I believe things work. You do good (by what you believe to be good) and good will happen. You do bad (causing negative energy) and bad things will happen. Also wrapped up in this is my belief that things happen for a reason. You take any experience you've had and there is ALWAYS something that you learned from it. No matter how insignificant.

I haven't figured out what I'm supposed to learn, but that's something we all have to wrestle with. Hopefully before the end I'll know or else I'll be seeing ya next time!

Bah! Enough of this melancholy nonsense! :)