2006 Valentine's Day Post

SO...I figure I won't have time tomorrow to post any updates and though I am happy a guy actually told me the truth about "not feeling the connection" it still sucks :) I think I could have really liked him :)

So I'm listening to Offer Nissim's album "First Time" which is awesome for my mood. I knelt down earlier and sighed really deep. It was one of those deep sighs that you can feel deep within your core, dredging up the ambiguous emotions you hide deep inside a tarnished soul. I looked up to the heavens and said aloud, "Universe, I am tired."

And I am tired. And I worry that people can sense that when they interact with me on a personal level. I mean...you can tell when someone is bitter, eh? I wonder exactly what kind of "vibe" I'm putting out there at this point in my life. Probably a bit jaded I imagine. :) Which is odd because I believe that if I am...I hide it from myself pretty damn well.

So I have had quite a number of compliments like, "You are handsome/sexy, you have a fun sense of humor, your (online) profile really has some substance, you seem well grounded". I'm wondering what exactly I have to be to land a boyfriend on my same level...

I mean...do I need to become some abusive, unemployed, asshole in order for someone to take notice? LOL :) I say that laughingly, but there is an echo of truth to it. Pity party for one, yes, I know. But it's not like you've never had one so shaddup and give me my five minutes :)

So tomorrow, I will paint on my smile, wear a fun valentine's day shirt, and take solace in the fact that I (honestly) rarely feel like this. And I am going to Tampa on Friday thru Monday on vacation to play softball. The sun and physical exercise are sure to enhance my mood...just gotta make it through this week. Thank goodness I have alot to keep myself busy between work and some of my extracurricular activities.

But seriously, everyone. I hope you have an awesome Valentine's Day and if you don't have another person to treat right, focus the attention on yourself. Do something nice for you...a nice dinner, buy that thing you've been wanting, some self physical satisfaction >:) Instead of a sigh, we'll take a cleansing breath...and be all the better for it.