October 21st, 2002

So...I didn't quite get the homecoming I expected after my trip home for my HS reunion...but since when has life ever given us what we expect? *grin* Crashing down. Fast. That's what happened this morning. Got an e-mail from B breaking it all off. I guess it's good that we hadn't gone out more than once. But for a little while I was happier than I've been in awhile.

I really liked this guy. I thought he was the cat's meow, but he's decided to get back with an old flame and I'm not going to place second in the "Race O' Love". I deserve better than that, don't I? You're damn right!

I guess I have to fall back on my reasons for rejection:

• He's stupid.
• He's stupid.
  
• and finally He's stupid.
  

*laugh* It's the only way to keep going. Making fun of tragedy. I am not going into work today however. I need to regroup for a bit and get the strength to pick myself up again.

My response to his "Dear John" letter was that if it makes him happy, then that's all I ever wanted for him. And though it hurts (like a sonofabitch) I honestly feel that way. I mean, if he's not interested "in that way" it's not like I can change that. The heart does what it wants. Mine did...and this time it got burned...bad.

So as I'm writing this, I'm listening to Jessica Andrew's "Unbreakable Heart". If you've never heard it, it's the perfect song to describe how I'm feeling right now:

Jessica Andrews - Unbreakable Heart

An empty house a broken fairy tale
A hollow girl with empty arms
From an angels tears God made the stars
Why cant He make me an unbreakable heart

In my blue world you shone like heavens fire
And left me cryin in the dark
How could anyone be so hard
Did you think I had an unbreakable heart

I suppose I should know
Sometimes love just comes and goes
But I believed foolish me
We'd go on and on

One day someone will come to you
And rock you tightly in her arms
Please remember this when you drop your guard
Nobody has an unbreakable heart

From an angels wings to a fallen star
God makes everything but unbreakable hearts

Well that's all the exciting news today. When I "recover" I'll fill all of you in on my 10-year High School Reunion. Right now...it just doesn't seem as funny as it really was.

But you know what? I'd rather risk it all than not. Pain is part of life...and I'd rather live with a broken heart than a stone cold one any day.