June 6th, 2002

I've been a total bitch as of late. Thank goodness my best friend pointed it out to me. I guess I got drowned into a "funk" kind of mood... It's not easy being me. LOL. I started thinking about what's wrong with me and then I really thought "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?".

This is not a pity story, or a cry for sympathy, but truth of the matter is, I'm actually kind of lonely. I do have great friends and am very busy most of the time, but that special guy still hasn't dropped on my doorstep.

Let me start off by saying I don't think that I'm a snob. I'm always nice to the guys that e-mail me or send me a quickmessage. I just don't find most of them "date" material.

What am I looking for? I'm sure that's a question we all ask ourselves. I don't think I'm being unreasonable by knowing what I don't want. I guess I'm just very cautious.

I do ask guys out, but guys today are just sketchy. I'd rather someone tell me (in a polite way) that they're not interested (read "stupid") but that it's very flattering.

I don't NEED someone to complete me, but hell...it would be nice to wake up next to someone that you care about every once and awhile. It gives you a feeling of connection and comfort that (though I love her SO) my dog Xena can't replace.

So I wait. And actually I expect to wait. And that's OK. :) I'm fortunate that I have a great life and (almost) everything I could ask for.

I wish you all the same and our princes are out there...we just have to wait for the white horse I guess :)