Not so straight from the ATL, mixing one electric personality with a dash of humorous wit commenting on life, the universe, and everything.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Biting off more than you can chew

I have been pretty quiet regarding a few problems between David and I. I let some of his problems become my problems and by doing so, created even more problems. I was trying to help, but I just made myself crazy, angry, stressed, and depressed. Those feelings turned around and bled into my relationship with David which I feel is on very shaky ground right now. I only have myself to blame for that I guess. I feel like I tried too hard...gave more of myself than I guess I really have to even offer. Right now, I am not even sure who I am disappointed in. Lots of conflicting feelings. I just want to crawl into my bed. I felt really sick in my stomach this morning because I could feel something coming...

I feel like a failure. A failure to be the person he needs.

My winter begins to reign a little early...I guess all I can do now is hope for a little wind to move the clouds away and let the sun back in. Maybe also for a little forgiveness and definitely for alot of strength.


So we talked and there were things that shouldn't have been done and other things that should have been done on both parts. I feel better and things can get back into a positive light I think. We both said we were sorry and then proceeded to have our normal quirky conversation :) I can only hope that going through these things makes us stronger together. I did learn that I can't over do giving of myself. It'd be nice if there didn't have to be limits, but I think that maybe having some limits is a good thing. It avoids creating feelings of resentment which I apparently am not good at containing :) I think I tried to delude myself in many ways...and THAT is not healthy for either of us.


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