Silence.

So I came home after a really rough day. I had to get my Mom to the airport, as I hugged her I said "I'm sorry" and I wanted to cry because as I turned around, I felt that I was really alone.

I asked David to come get the last of his stuff because well...isn't that what's in the script when you are kind of separated? I guess that came off the wrong way because he wouldn't give me my two weeks to regain my composure. It became a now or never offer. I knew I couldn't be objective about it all. I definitely would have frelled up the communication and knowing me, would have made things incredibly worse.

So not understanding what he was saying I'll claim the fault. I agree, it sounded like a more definitive "get the hell out" move, huh? Ugh...I wish I were wiser. Unfortunately, experience is often the only teacher.

I feel like a mirror that has been shattered. You can kind of see what the whole thing is supposed to look like, but its distorted. Thats my fault. I let myself get broken, though its like one a fault line...it can take a lot of pressure, but when it goes...look out! Tsunami.

On a more positive note, a buddy of mine may be hired (wish him some good Karma, everyone) at GT after he lost his job. I sent the job his way, talked with his new potential boss, etc.

Update:

I wish things were different than they turned out today. I can't sleep. Going to try and pop a pill. Isn't my horoscope for the day appropriate?

You still aren't sure which way the tides are going to carry you, especially now that you realize the oncoming waves of change are just another trick of apparent reality. Things aren't shifting as you had imagined. What is transforming, however, is your own inner world as you are flooded with new ideas. Act on the best ones and enjoy the ride.