March 17, 2002

It's 3AM and I am T-I-R-E-D. Whew. Went with my friend M to "Tribal" at the Abbey but before that I went to my boss's pre-party at his house. Damn there were some good looking boys there... So "Tribal" was the first "dance" to be held at the Abbey, which is a renovated old church. The DJ was Marc Anthony (WOW) and the boys there made me feel like I either needed to get on steriods or drugs. *laugh*

Yes, it's a little "stereotyping", but I'm unfortunately not that far from the truth...

I wore my green electric pants I had made today (they were a big hit). I had them wrapped up my right jean leg in a swirl or tornado effect. Green for St. Patrick of course.

So I discovered tonight that I really don't sweat all that much anymore. Most of my heat seems to dissipate from my mouth. I felt like a yorkshire terrier the way I was panting (and not from what I WISH were making me pant).

I have practice in about 6 hours for softball. I hope that I can get enough sleep before I have to wake up, get dressed and out to eat breakfast. This will be the first practice I have with these guys and I want to at least make a decent impression.

March 14, 2002

Today turned out to be a GREAT day...a tiring and "oh shit hard" day, but a great day nonetheless. We got some things repaired at work and wrote some pretty cool code that actually works better than the previous code... AND on top of that I started back "gym-ing" and feel pretty good about that.

So if you haven't read the previous entries, I bought the first season of "Queer as Folk" and my GOD this thing is good. I can really relate to these characters and some of their experiences.

BUT my life right now is drama free if not stress free. The difference is "drama" is created, "stress" is just fated.

I'm excited again...summer is on it's way (along with the need to refill my Claritin) and the good times are once again on their way. Not that winter is so bad, it's just I seem to have more energy when it's warmer.

But I'm working on my outfit for this weekend's big dance at the Abbey with my best friend's partner M. MAYbe...just MAYbe I'll meet someone...

I'm not going to assume, but I'm tingling inside like something is going to happen...I just can't put my sixth sense on it...

So I've been a little "agressive" which is VERY unlike me...telling guys I think they're really cute...asking them to a movie (okay...so it's over e-mail, and I haven't gotten any responses, but hey...at least I'm trying! *grin*).

Hope everyone out there in InternetLand is well...and if you're not...I hope you take it into your own hands and make it well.

May 13th, 2002

Whew. What a day. This morning was ugh with sinuses so had to take my meds and go back to sleep. Finished out work after 1:00 and drove home in a downpour from hell. One thing I didn't mention is that two of my exes called on Sunday. How wierd is that?

One of them we ended it great. I was moving here and he thought about it, but I couldn't move somewhere and expect to hold things together because that is just TOO much change. Some days I regret it, some days I think that was right right choice.

The second is a bit more complicated. If you've read any of my past journal entries, this is the guy from Alabama. Why I torture myself with him I have absolutely no clue. He's everything I don't need: Unreliable, somewhat clueless about how you treat others, and just a little immature. I didn't actually speak to him, he left a message on my machine while I was at the pool.

However I put it however, he'll always have a small spell over me. I'm chalking it up to desperation at this moment. I talk to lots of guys and ask several out, but I must not be as cute as I think I am or they're just plain stupid. But Alabama...I'm really curious what the hell he was thinking calling me after everything he put me through. I should call his house and see just what the HELL he was thinking. I don't know if I even want to go near that drama vortex.

This isn't a pity request by any means ;). Just the way things are. I don't feel bad, things are set in motion in certain ways for a reason and one day, I'll find out what that is. Until then I'm perfectly fine.

On a lighter note, this watermelon flavored applesauce is not that bad. Ever since I started working out I am HUNGRY all the f-ing time! I wake up hungry, I am hungry after I eat, and I go to sleep hungry. Hence why I bought some fruit cups and nuts. I need to get more raisins because I'm a big fan of those now.

I guess I should be happy. I'm feeling the difference in my body. Is kind of wierd though.

So I'm off to go read for awhile. I can't put my new comforter on until I fix it. It's got a rip in it that I think it got in the washer...oops. I think I can mend it with a little needle and thread.

March 13, 2002

Today was a LOT of work...but fun. I don't think I've ever felt like I'd been working 14 hours when it was only about 8... But we've all had those days. I was leaving the office with a giddy giggle in a tired haze of total brain fart.

So I came home and watched an episode of Queer as Folk. Then I worked on the website for the Hoedown in October ( http://hoedown.southernline.org) and then ate dinner and watched more Queer as Folk.

I could really relate to the last episode, David had asked Michael to move in with him and Michael wasn't ready. The last thing David said to him was "I don't want a boyfriend...I want a partner".

I think right now I'd setting for a date. *laugh* I'm beginning to wonder if it's ME that's one of those guys that's a 6 looking for an 11. I'm picky, but shouldn't we be? So I'm going to write a new Essay: What I Want it a Boyfriend and post it. I think maybe writing this down will help me know it when I've found it...you know?

But I'm back to square one on searching for a new car. There's just NOTHING out there that says "ME"...but then again...most things that say "ME" either glow in the dark or come in grape or orange flavors say "ME". *grin*

March 12, 2002

Ugh! The Isuzu Vehicross (though VERY cute) is NOT the car for me. And after careful consideration...neither is the Rodeo Sport soft top. So now I'm back to square one... Took a half day from work today to go check out the 2001 Isuzu Vehicross...VERY cool vehicle...VERY bad rear visibility as they said in the reviews.

And as far as the soft top IRSport, TOO much of a hassle to get the soft top off. All my dreams dashed in a heartbeat. So now I'm looking either at the hard top IRSport (with dual moon roofs) or something else with a sunroof.

I did drive a clipper blue IRSport and they had a Mica Rad IRSport hard top and I liked them both. The salesman wasn't kidding when he said they were little greyhounds...they'll go.

Since I'm not in a rush I can slow down a little on the car thing. There's just nothing perfect for me out there.

*laugh* Almost sounds about me and my men. Although with men I am hardly looking for perfection. The last couple of guys I dated (or tried to date) seriously are proof of that.

So I'm watching "Queer as Folk" Season 1 on DVD and it is GOOD. I am only on episode 7 out of like 22, but I think I could watch these over and over again. It's TV I can relate to I guess. Finally.

So I'm going to go now and take a nap. I had a strawberry milkshake earlier and it's putting me to sleep.

March 10, 2002

Geez, how hard it it to buy a car? *laugh* I thought it would be easy, but they can't find either major color I am wanting... All I want is an Isuzu Rodeo Sport soft top V6 with the preferred options package in either Atlantic Blue or Red and it looks like I might just be out of luck.

So this weekend was a good weekend :) I went out Friday night to Burkhart's and then Hoedowns and then the Heretic.

Saturday afternoon was spent at a cookout for my new softball team, the Outlaws, and Saturday night me and S&M hung out at the Red Chair and watched videos (and of course boys!).

There were a couple that seemed interested, but no pursuers. Oh well...their loss :)

This should be a pretty busy week for me as I have a lot of work and extracurricular activities all with "things to do".

I officially moved over to my new website even though most of the journal entries aren't moved yet. I figure I can do them about 5 a day and get it done fairly quickly. Then I have to get the galleries in order and I'm all set.

Wish me luck on the car...going to call Florida tomorrow and try and find one.

I would like to thank all of you that are reading these entries and sending me e-mail with comments. Thanks for making cyberspace seem friendlier.

March 4, 2002

What a birthday! One of the better ones of my life even though it did involve a little drama...

I've just about learned how to deal with that. So I actually had made no plans for my birthday, having THOUGHT that I was going to spend it with this guy I had been dating from Alabama. He decided that the best way to "break things off" was to not call and at least let me make alternative arrangements. They say "Silence is Golden" and I've got enough to fill Fort Knox.

So my best friend and his partner took me to dinner at the Red Chair where we met up with a new (out of towner) friend MJ (who was VERY cute!)

Well I was wearing what I call my "lite brite" pants and having a BLAST meeting everyone that was interested in them. I have to go out and get new fibre strips now...

So after Red Chair we went to Hoedown's (I was a bit soused by them) and then to the Heretic to dance and hang out.

All in all, I'd have to say I had a blast! I did however get drunk enough to want to try to do a back bend and try to push my legs over IN BOOTS and ended up hurting my arm (getting brittle in my old age). It'll heal. :)

Sunday I played my new video game Jak and Daxter and then met my new softball team out at the Red Chair (once again...can you tell I like this bar/restaurant?) and stayed out WAY past my bedtime on a school nite.

But I had a good time, got to hang with some of my new 'mates.

A great weekend :)

So my best friend KJ got me Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and I watched it this evening before my regular fare on the WB. I cleaned the house a bit between commercial breaks and actually have the "ranch" in a more serviceable state. It was getting pretty cluttered because of the new TV stand I had to manipulate back into the layout of the livingroom.

March 1, 2002

It's about 9:13PM on the eve of my 28th birthday. I'm not really sure how this is supposed to make me feel. Right now my heart is actually a bit heavy in a strange kind of way. They guy from Alabama is just not on my level. I guess it's silly of me to expect someone to actually return my calls? *laugh* And sometimes I think "I" have issues... So he was supposed to come in this weekend for my birthday and I have had no notice that plans had changed (other than the phone not ringing) so plans weren't made...am I bitter?

Let's just say I'm not singing love songs.

I allowed for the fact that he had a good bit of Drama (notice the capital) in his life, and just said "this is the way it is right now".

Boy was I wrong. He's 27 going on "can't deal with reality". I compromised my values and tried to overlook the situation, but this is just rude, immature, and my heart is screaming "GOD...why do you fall for men that are such FLAKES?" *laugh*

But TOMORROW is my birthday...and it's a whole new ballgame and I'm first at bat with no outs on the field.

Watch out WORLD...I'm back!